


Never Let You Down

by Kobalyt



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: A letter from Eggsy to Harry, After saving the world, Angst, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Post-Church Scene, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 08:44:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3643980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobalyt/pseuds/Kobalyt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Eggsy Unwin. </p><p>I don't even know why I'm writing this. The therapist said it would help.</p><p>I think this is a giant waste of time. Thinks it'll help writing to you. Though we both know you won't read this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Let You Down

My name is Eggsy Unwin. 

I don't even know why I'm writing this. The therapist said it would help.

I think this is a giant waste of time. Thinks it'll help writing to you. Though we both know you won't read this. 

She says I'm holding back. Not allowing myself to grieve properly. Yeah, well we don't see our best friends gunned down by madmen every day, now do we? 

It's been six months since the incident. Six months since I last heard his voice properly. Not in recordings. Those don't count, do they? 

What am I doing? I saved the world, I've got to deal with the aftermath. I can talk to so many people, but not the one I want most. Everyone says time can heal even the deepest wounds, but can it heal my soul? 

I was stupid, if I had just done as told maybe he won't have died. Maybe I wouldn't have seen Valentine pull the trigger. Maybe he'd be here in his home, showing me new things as a Kingsman. 

That's just it though. I won't see him again. 

He's just a ghost of my memories. 

When you're younger, people come and go. You know that everyone will die at some point. But no one can convey just how it affects life. I expect him to come through that door, even now. God, what I would give. 

Just to see him, too formal for his own good. The way he would take off his suit jacket and carefully hang it up. How he would teach me to make a proper martini. 

I never got to say goodbye. I never had the chance to make things right while he was here. Some days it doesn't feel real. Maybe this is my hell, for letting him down. For not being able to turn my life around. 

Isn't this how life goes? When does the pain stop? When do the nightmares end? I wanted to ask you so many things and I can't bring myself to talk about this to anyone. The therapist says I just need more time. I keep going out on missions, I'm getting reckless, Harry. Merlin scolded me for almost getting killed. 

Said he could barely handle losing you. He would have felt right awful about losing me too. I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I smile, I act the part.. Mostly. But if you were here you'd see right through it. Wouldn't you? 

But we're at the end of our chapter. 

My mum's okay. So is my sis. 

Everything is right with the world, just not right with me. 

Harry, I'm sorry. God knows, I'm so sorry. I fucked up so much. I ruined this. This isn't that kind of movie, but know that I... 

I loved you. 

Please come home. Please walk through those doors, don't be just a memory, god please. Don't be just a ghost to haunt me. Come back to me. 

I'll never let you down again. I promise.


End file.
